By Chinelo Nwangene
Weeks after video clip of an embarrassing marriage proposal rejection in Imo state caused meltdown on the social media, incidences of dramatic break-up to relationships and marriages captured on videos have continued to make news headlines, adding to growing concern over the impact of coronavirus pandemic and economic hardships on relationships in Nigeria.
Last week, video clip of a lady, who slumped at a bus stop in Ikotun Egbe area of Lagos, moments after her fiancée informed her that he was no longer ready to marry her, went viral on the internet. The victim, identified simply as Miss Linda, and her lover, also identified as Fabian, were reportedly planning to kick-start the process of marriage until she was jilted at Oja Bus Stop, Ikotun Old Garage.
It was gathered that the couple had been dating for long time with marriage as their next agenda, until Fabian pulled the plug on their marriage plan. Linda was said to have pleaded with her lover to reconsider his decision and even tried to restrain him from walking out of her and the relationship.
In the video, Fabian, who was not moved by her pleas, tried to break loose from her grip even as she threatened to kill herself. The drama reached its highpoint when the jilted lady slumped. It was gathered that sympathisers at the scene later rushed her to an undisclosed nearby hospital, where she was revived while the estranged lover fled.
The incident took place barely two weeks after a man, identified as Iberemu Osadebe, a former commercial bus driver, disrupted a wedding service to prevent his wife of 20 years from getting married to another man, also identified as Henry.
The dramatic incident, which took place at the Great Salvation Christian Centre, at Ifako-Ijaiye area of Lagos state, also happened at the same time video clip of a bride, who jilted her husband on their wedding day and fled the church in her wedding gown, also went viral on the internet. The unidentified lady was head in the video clip, screaming that she is no longer interested in getting married to her fiancé, even as her friends and relations tried unsuccessfully to stop her.
According to reports, when Osadebe stormed the church shortly after the wedding service kicked-off, some of the church leaders tried to persuade him to allow the wedding to proceed; but he rejected their plea. The church members were said to have resorted to prayers against plots by Osadebe to interrupt the wedding.
However, things took a dramatic twist when Osadebe’s family members rushed to the pulpit as the officiating pastor tried to wed the new couple to testify that the bride was already married and could not be joined in holy wedlock.
Osadebe, who was later bundled out of the arena alongside his family members, claimed the bride, Gloria, who bore him a son, deserted him following his prolonged sickness, which forced him to travel to his hometown in Isiala Mbano, Imo state, in search of cure. Soon after he received news that his wife would be getting married to another man on August 29, 2020, Osadebe had travelled back to Lagos as part of the bid to stop the wedding. He described his wife’s action as betrayal of his love.
Osadebe said he was shocked when his relatives called to inform him that his wife was remarrying without informing him. Although, he received a letter on March 23, 2020, informing him that Gloria had divorced him, Osadebe did not read the letter to know its content until he was informed about the wedding of his estranged wife.
The two-page document sent to Osadebe was a court summon for the couple to appear before the Ojo Customary Court on April 1, 2020, but the sitting couldn’t hold due to the outbreak of coronavirus and the resultant lockdown imposed by the government. However, Gloria, according to the court papers, sought divorce from her ailing husband on the grounds of “drunkenness and smoking, lack of care, stubbornness and no more love.”
Osadebe, however, recalled how he was forced to sell some of his property in order to complete Gloria’s traditional marriage process.
“When my mother died and I wanted to travel for the burial, my wife said she would not follow us because it was a taboo in her tradition for a woman, whose bride price has not been paid, to go on such a journey. She also refused to release my son.
“When I got to the village, the elders were angry that I did not come with my wife and son as my mother’s first child. They fined me N40,000. After that disgrace, I vowed to pay her bride price. I later sold the land I had for N1 million and I sent N500,000 to her account to keep for the purpose. In 2017, we went to her family and paid N280,000 for the bride price. They demanded groundnut oil, tubers of yam, among other things, which we valued at N60,000 and I paid.”
According to him, the marriage soon developed a crack when he took ill and travelled to his hometown for treatment, leaving his wife and son behind in Lagos. The matter got worse when he received call from his wife on the sick bed that she and their son were starving and he instructed that his bus be sold and the proceeds given to Gloria to start a business and pay the son’s school fees.
While admitting that he was willing to let her go, Osadebe insisted she must release his son and refund the bride price before she could regain her freedom.
Richard Ikere, who claimed to be part of the delegation that paid Gloria’s bride price at her hometown in Uromi, Esan North-East area of Edo state, disclosed that the wife started dating the new man while her husband was still in Lagos. But his brother was blinded by his love for her.
“He was pained that a woman he loved so much betrayed him. It is unfair. A man sold his land, vehicle and other property, and yet, you’re not satisfied,” he said.
Wife of the church’s founder, Prophetess Ebube Evans, however, claimed that the church gave its blessings to the proposed marriage between Gloria and Henry because, it was convinced that Iberemu abandoned his responsibility to his wife and son. “The woman suffered with him when he was completely incapacitated. Whenever he soiled his body, the woman cleaned him up and bore all the pains. None of his family members showed her love after he left. And now, they want to destroy her new marriage. Is that not wickedness?” She queried.
According to Prophetess Evans, the couple visited the church in 2018, while seeking solution to the husband’s paralysis, and since then, their economic condition and relationship had moved from bad to worse.
“After a while, the woman complained that the husband had started selling their property. We later discovered that the man was using her to beg for alms at Ogba bus stop. She lied to passersby that she was stranded and needed money to return to her house in Ekiti. The money she made was what they were using to feed and survive. She later complained that the man used the little she made from the alms to drink alcohol and smoke at a joint.”
Evans claimed that after the church advised Gloria to stop begging, her husband became angry, sold their property and left for the village.
“For the period he was away, nobody asked after the woman or her child. We fed her and sent the boy to school. At a point, she became very ill and needed a surgery. The church raised money for the treatment. They were sent out of their house because the man owed two years’ rent; I gave her one room in my flat.”
According to her, Gloria was still squatting in her house when she met the new suitor.
“She was living with me when this young man (Henry) showed up and said he wanted to marry her. I was happy for her, knowing the church’s burden would reduce.”
The prophetess explained that when the remarriage came up, her husband demanded a formal divorce note and that the court dissolved the union and sent Osadebe notice of it.
Expectedly, the incident has generated mixed reactions on the social media with some commentators condemning the role played by the church in the controversial wedding. According to Anita Chinwe Ikeh, the church failed in its role as peacemaker by not reaching out to the man and his family before electing to give out his wife to their member.
“Why would someone that called himself a man of God go ahead to wed them without due consultation. The pastor should have suspended the wedding and do proper investigation”, she argued.
“The whole fault rest on the so-called church. The church authority deliberately looked the other way having been briefed about the true situation of things. So sad!” Victor Oshin wrote.
Julius Adjadje also condemned the desperate tactics employed by the church to get a married woman remarried, stressing that even if the church succeeded in the wedding, the marriage was doomed.
“The officiating pastor is whacked. Even if he went ahead to join the groom and the bride, their home is cursed, and the marriage can never find true love, peace and happiness,” he said.
Rose Anaemeje, however, blamed the bride’s family for supporting their daughter’s remarriage without completing the process of annulment of the first one to Osadebe.
“The bride’s family should be blame too for collection of second bride price. I encourage anyman or lady, who want to get married to go to their different homes and make proper investigation before getting married to avoid had-I-known. Some women sabi lie when they are desperate to tie a man down and only few tells the truth.”
David Onyeabo, however, advised Osadebe to let the estranged wife go, stressing that “you cannot force a woman to remain married to you; but his bride price should be returned by the lady’s family.”