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Misunderstandings in relationships – OrientDailyNews

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By Chidimma Unaigwe

Misunderstandings are bound to occur in relationships, but it’s best, if it’s avoided. Misunderstandings are so disturbing and common, they tend to unbalance one by getting into one’s head. Before one even knows what is happening, one can cause havoc, throwing the most reliable relationship off-balance.

Misunderstandings can be in the form of disagreement or quarrel caused by clash of interest or a failure to understand something or someone correctly.

Misunderstanding is a false impression that is created in your mind; if you take something in the wrong sense or understand it wrongly; it is a misunderstanding, whether it is about the words, action, or behavior.

Misunderstanding can occur with or without any communication. Abstaining from communicating with your spouse could lead to the development of misunderstanding.  Misunderstanding could come when you interpret the words being said by your spouse wrongly or you mistrust him/her. 

Misunderstanding happens mostly because you just assume certain things and facts and conclude without hearing from your spouse or partner. In this way, a misunderstanding is more about your projection of attitude, rather than a communication problem.

Misunderstandings can damage relationships at home and at work. If your life and relationships are plagued with misunderstandings, people misunderstand you or they say you misunderstand them. There are ways you can improve communications.

Chinasa Eke says, “To avoid misunderstanding, love should be expressed. Both parties shouldn’t love on conditions and they should always respect each other”.

Peter Madu says, “Learn to accommodate mistakes, this is one big reason why misunderstanding keeps occurring in the home and always accommodate each other’s mistakes and know that no one is perfect”.

Marvelous Adeoye says, “When there is no trust in a relationship, there is bound to be misunderstanding Avoid doubt, gossips, negative thoughts and be loyal to each other”.

Brown Omoefe says, “Communication matters a lot; avoid friends that are of bad influence”.

Israel Adebayo says, “Always avoid using bad words like insults in your relationships, and also do your duty as a husband and a wife in your homes”.

How to avoid misunderstandings

Behave like a good listener: Don’t interrupt your partner talking; avoid arguing about words but rather be patient and withhold opinions and judgments until you have heard the entire message and are sure that you understand it all. Be completely attentive because most misunderstanding happens due to lack of paying full attention to what is being said.

Give time and opportunity to the other person to explain, have discussions if possible, before jumping to conclusions or reacting.

Appropriate and effective communication can help you in resolving all conflicts or whatever is going wrong between you and your spouse or partner.

Understand his or her body language and not just going out on your own to seek or obtain information from an outsider. This might lead you to the wrong source with the wrong information and can expose you to be more confused and disorganised.

Think well and speak right. In times of challenges, you don’t speak to discourage him/her rather speak words of encouragement to lessen the situation or calm him/her down. Always reply promptly because silence breeds misunderstanding.

Ask questions; it helps to reduce misunderstanding, rather than assuming or concluding based on a few statements. For instance, when you ask questions, you may discover that what you earlier assumed was actually different from what happened.

Learn to use the word “I am sorry”, don’t feel everything you do is right and always forgive and forget, no matter what your spouse has done or probably you can forgive in advance before the offence is committed.

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