Miss Chika Alphonsus belongs to the category of new Nigerian ladies who believes they can thrive and even outperform their male counterparts.
Despite being a single mother, the Ghana-based, Mbaise Imo state- born Chika has managed to reinvent herself and ful l her childhood dream of becoming a fashion designer. Her creation, the Chiqa Brands has become a reference point for upcoming designers across West Africa.
In this interview with Olisemeka Sony, Ms Alphonsus shares her lifelong survival experience, her life as a ashionista, relationship and other issues.
How was your growing up like?
Chika Alphonsus is the first child of the family of 4, three siblings, two girls and a boy, making it four, I come from Mbaise, Imo state and my mum is from Delta state, precisely Okala Okpuno. Well, growing up for me was fan- tastically amazing because our father made sure we spoke Igbo in the house. On return from school, the driver took us for lesson and after that we come home. Igbo was allowed in my house though you could speak English out- side the house. It was fun go- ing to one of the best school in Surulere, Princeton Junior School. The school is still very much alive there. I grew up in Surulere, had the best childhood because my father was everything; it was like a dream come through, it was everything.
Looking back through your childhood memories, what events shaped who you are to- day?
Looking back at my child- hood memories, the person that really shaped my life is my dad. He was so kind, so generous and so helpful. As young as we were then, he al- ways advised us and always told us what to do and what not to do. My father never wanted my mum to do any- thing; he wanted her to be a full housewife. So my mum went behind to learn oth- er trades. It inspired me. It shaped my thinking that, as a woman, you don’t need to wait around and wait for the man to do everything. Even as my dad was as wealthy as he was of that time, my mum still did what she had to do.
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What vocation did you love and wanted to pursue in life when you were a kid and, did you manage to actualise it; and if you failed, why?
Well, the vocation that I wanted to do all my life was fashion. Right from childhood, fashion had always been part of me and what I always had passion for. I noticed that I was always fond of exper- imenting with colours and
styles and being fashionable in everything.
However, professionally, when I was growing up, I actually wanted to be a doc- tor, particularly a surgeon. When I was in the secondary school, I fell in love with that profession. Unfortunately, I haven’t been able to actualise that yet. In terms of vocation, however, I am living my childhood dream as a fashion designer.
At what point did you actu- ally begin to feel your special talent to make it as an indepen- dent woman?
I guess, when I was in my senior secondary school, my friends could tell you these. unused to be like the warm day out, do you know what I do back then? I used to wear my brother’s boot to school and the way I dressed, I just knew there was something about me. My mum is a major role model. My father handled herandevenafterhedied,my mum managed to look after four of us relying on the busi- ness my father didn’t want her to do, in the first place. This shaped me into what I am now, into being indepen- dent, seeing life from a differ- ent point of view, to realise that, as a woman, you should have a source of income for yourself because anything can happen. At a tender age, I began to see these things; I realised I needed to be on my own. I knew I had special tal- ent and I had to pursue what I did, but I didn’t pursue it back then. It was after six years that I did. Fashion is not what you just barge into because you don’t really make money. But if you want it and fashion is your life, it’s a statement you make, it’s becomes the air you breathe, the water you drink. Fashion is the way you arrange yourself, place. your cloth. It is not just a trend but a way of life.
How did you eventually achieve major breakthrough in life?
That was 2009, 2010 and 2011; three years, I had to learn clothing and textiles, sewing, sketching, I had to
learn it. I never wanted to be a tailor but this is the basic fundamental as a fashion de- signer. You have to be able to stitch one or two things, slim fit and so on. I see myself as more of a creative person. I prefer people to learn how to sew. When I came back from the UK, I had to raise money because I had my dreams of what I wanted to do, but still I had to work. When I got my funds, I decided to start mine, that was it. There was noth- ing like break through, every little step I made counted to
what I wanted to be, it didn’t just happen overnight, it’s something I always wanted and planned, it took a while, step by step, and I’m still tak- ing the same step till I get there. You know with God ev- erything is possible.
What’s your ideal man to spend your time or lifetime with?
My ideal man to spend my life, my time should be some- body who is, humble but crazy, spiritual, not necessar- ily religious but spiritual be-
cause I’m spiritual at every level. He should be physical- ly fit, taking his health very seriously because I take my health very seriously through exercises, dieting. So, that is the kind of man I want. He could be tall or short, it makes no difference.
Looking at the high rate of relationship failures and mar- riage crashes in Nigeria due to in delity, what do you consider as contributory factor?
One of the major factors contributing to failed marriages and relationships is the lack of understanding. Understanding is key to every relationship, whether person- al or official. You should strive to understand the person you are relating with, not just on a physical level but in all other spheres of life because understanding is relative. You should try to understand your partner spiritually, emotionally and psychologically. You find out that many people who are in a relationship are virtually strangers as they barely know each other too well to be able to relate better for the rest of their lives.
Many marriages fail be- cause of mistrust and suspicion of one form or the other. But, you will find out that if you actually took time to understand your partner and how they behave, there wouldn’t be enough room for mistrust and suspicion because you can easily know when they have done something wrong or not. Some persons can easily detect when their partner has transgressed, when they are happy or sad.
Without understanding someone you relate with, there is no way both of you can sustain the relationship. That is why infidelity is of- ten an issue in relationships and marriages. Even when someone is not cheating on their partner, you find out that some still suspect them or even accuse them of infidelity, simply because they did not actually understand them well. If you really under- stand your wife or husband, you don’t need someone else to give you a tip off when they start messing around with another person. You will notice change in their behavioral pattern and take concerted actions to address that in a mutual manner.
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What’s the best way to handle or get the best out of a long-distance relationship or internet dating?
The best way to handle long distance relationship is through communication. There should be 24-hour com- munication. Thank God for the internet, everything is now easy and simple as you could do video chat or calls. These applications enable you to not only hear voices of your loved one but see the person anytime, anywhere the way you want it. So, the fundamental rule to cope with a distant relationship or inter- net dating is communication. Communication is key, once there is breakdown in com- munication, the relationship won’t work out because no- body is sure of what the oth- er person is doing and that could create mistrust that could kill the relationship.
What’s your experience being a single mother at young age?
I became a single mother at a young age – 26. I had my means of survival and live- lihood. I had my business already and other things I was doing. If I was younger than 26, it would have been a challenge but it wasn’t a challenge. I took the respon- sibility of her and now she’s a grown up young girl. I’m glad I took that decision to take care of my daughter. I looked after her; kept her safe.
Many young girls these days who get pregnant out of wed- lock end up aborting the baby or even selling them after delivery just to avoid shame or taking responsibility. What’s your advice to them?
One of the important factors contributing to failed marriages or relationships, to the best of my knowledge and experience, is lack of understanding. Understanding is key; you should understand not just the physical level because understanding spiritually, psychologically. Otherwise you and your partner will be both are strangers to each other. If there is under- standing, you won’t distrust each other. Understanding is the basis, understanding is the key before any other thing, without understanding there’s nothing. Without understanding and if you partner is far from you, you be- gin to have doubts, whether she’s somewhere with a guy. However, if you understand her, before she says anything, you know what she is thinking. This is a high level of understanding.
Again people misunderstand being submissive in marriage. If my husband isn’t rich and I am rich and I have my money to go to America or UK and I tell my husband, I wanna go to UK and he says no, and obey to that, it is being submissive, it means when you have every necessary things to yourself to do certain things but you can’t really do everything you want… But if my husband is very rich and I don’t have anything and I wanna go to UK or America and he says’ no’ and I affirmed to that, do you know what I have done? I have obeyed him. So a lot of relationships lack that, if you understand this fundamental rules you will know that relationships needs good foundation.
High rate of prostitution amongst Nigerian ladies is worrisome. What do you think young girls should do to be- come successful in life instead of using their bodies to make money?
I don’t blame these young ladies who sell their children to avoid shame and responsi- bility in the society we’re liv- ing in. For a girl to get preg- nant in Nigeria is seen as a taboo; they push these girls into certain things they do not want to do to avoid stig- matisation in the family or villages. So, my single advice to these ladies is that if you know you can’t take care of the responsibility of bringing a child to this world, instead of aborting, you can agree with your partner to use con- dom, you have to plan be- fore doing anything, because children are gifts from God. A child came into this world through you so you shouldn’t give him or her away to strangers to maltreat. If you know you can’t take up the re-
sponsibility of being a parent, don’t even let the child suffer, check if you’re safe or free or, better still, abstain from sex. Abstinence is the only way.
Do you think the 21st centu- ry Nigerian ladies should still end up as housewives or ca- reer women?
The men make it like that. You are very qualified, well groomed, well presented, go for a job or an interview, the interviewer will tell you that job has been taken all because she refused to open her legs for him. That’s what happens in our society today. You don’t blame these ladies. There are some successful and proud women out there and we should look up to them and make ourselves bet- ter. Do not sell your body for money; instead of doing noth- ing why not work hard, think of something, do something, learn a trade, go to school and be a better person. I still do not blame these ladies. Noth- ing like housewives, every woman should look for what they will do, whether a career or whatever, a women should have a source of living for themselves because anything can happen, nobody know to- morrow. I’m a big fan if every woman should have some- thing doing, be it a trade, vocational or career, every woman should have some-
thing doing, no man wants to marry a lady as house wife, no matter how little as far as it gives you money is worth doing well, just do something with your time.
Tell us something about your fashion sense and how you maintain your stature?
As for my stature, I try my best keeping fit. I have always been size 8, mostly I don’t re- ally take carbohydrate. I exer- cise a whole lot – five times a day, a week in a gym, that’s me, I eat proteins. As I said earlier, fashion is a way of life, it’s how I live, how I breathe, and the water I drink. It’s fashion. There is nothing like fashion sense. You’re fashion, I’m not into fashion senses. I am fashion, it is how I live my life and look after myself, fold my clothes, dress my house, that is fashion for me, that’s fashion, it’s my air and my es- sence of living, that’s fashion.
What are the future plans of ChiQas business empire?
As for me, the future is now. My plan is already in a pipe- line, so don’t worry, you will see it soon. When it is ready, you will be the first to know about it; the future is now. It’s how I prepare now that my future will be better. So, keep preparing; something big is coming, when it comes out, I will let you know.
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