With Chidimma Unaigwe
Every couple experiences disagreements in their relationships or marriages. When conflict is mismanaged, it can cause great harm to a relationship but when handled with care, respect and understanding, couples can resolve their differences in a positive way and learn more about each other. It’s normal for a couple to quarrel from time to time.
Conflicts and arguments won’t necessarily jeopardize a relationship. In fact, there are times when disagreements can actually bring a couple closer together. The key is in how you and your partner decide to handle the conflict.
Conflict is an integral part of any healthy relationship. After all, two people can’t be expected to agree on everything, all the time. The key is not to avoid conflict but to learn how to resolve it in a healthy way. Whatever the cause of disagreements and disputes, by learning these skills for conflict resolution, you can keep your relationships strong and growing.
In the thinking of Mr. Okoro Victroy says, “Both party should seat together and discuss the problem they are facing, while discussing they should do it with an open mind with the aim of understanding each other”.
Mrs. Oluchi Kamson says, “The person at fault should own up and accepts his or her mistakes and should apologize immediately”.
Mr. Matthew Adeyemi says, “Sometimes in a relationship a defaulting partner may be adamant or stubborn, even in his/her errors. The other person should trigger the reconciliation process, by involving a third party that is well respected and loved by both”.
Nelson Abu says, “The best way to resolve conflict is to have a good sense of judgment.”
Mrs. Chinyere Adams says, in resolving conflict or disagreement, you have to take responsibility of whatever might have happened, because two wrongs don’t make a right. If the man and the woman claim to be right, then it can never be settled”.
Mr. Daniel Akpe says, “Always apologize when you are at fault, you shouldn’t try to be defensive”.
Always work to be the first to apologize when any dispute arises. You don’t have to wait for the other person to apologize first.
Focus on trying to discover what’s right, not who is right; when thinking about what happened, try to remove yourself from the situation and evaluate right and wrong based solely on the actions that took place regardless of which side you’re on.
Resolving conflict requires forgiveness; no matter how hard two people try to love and please each other, they will fail. With failure comes hurt. And the only ultimate relief for hurt is forgiveness.
The key to maintaining an open, intimate, and happy marriage is to ask for and grant forgiveness quickly. And the ability to do that is tied to each individual’s relationship with God. “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you” (Ephesians 4:32).
When the disagreement is resolved, put it behind you; once a matter is settled, don’t keep a record of wrongs. Let it go. Dwelling on past differences seldom leads to productive results and can lead to bitterness and bad feelings. Look back only to learn from what happened, so that you can avoid similar mistakes in the future.
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