With Chinelo Nwangene
Are you one of those young ladies or so-called ‘slay-queens’ or ‘fast-guys’ operating fast-lane dating stunts without any form of precaution? And you think you are too clever to date multiple men, women without being caught? If you think you will always outsmart your lovers, better have a rethink because only very few of such stunts always survive crashes in the long run. Those who tried it had bitter tales. Read on.
Many were stunned when a wedding between Reverend Elvis Opune of All Saints Anglican Cathedral Abakaliki, Ebonyi state and Grace Chika Olunze of Umuchoke Mbaitolu, Imo state was aborted by the authorities of the church over alleged double dating in July 2017.
According to the gist, the about-to-wed couple and their invited guests had seated inside the church waiting for the commencement of the wedding service when one of the priests, Venerable Kingsley Okoro, made the shocking announcement that it had been cancelled following an order from ‘above’.
The cancellation of the wedding shocked the parishioners, guests and priests who came to witness the holy matrimony. Although, the church refused to disclose the official reason for pulling the plug on the marriage, it was later learnt that the clergy-bachelor was caught in a double-dating scandal. According to insiders, a lady had lodged a complaint barely 24 hours to the wedding that the priest was allegedly dating her but later dumped her after making marriage promise to her.
The prospective couple had celebrated their traditional marriage three days earlier at the bride’s home town in Imo state before the double-dating scandal rocked their marriage. The invited guests, who included a former Minister of State for Power and Steel, Chief Goddy Ogbaga, and the Deputy Chief of Staff, Government House, Abakaliki, Professor Fidelis Okpata, later left the church after waiting in vain to know if the church would reverse their decision and allow the wedding to hold.
Last January, the social media erupted when a video clip of a young lady who picked up the courage to propose to her boyfriend in public on bended knees and was turned down in dramatic fashion went viral. Not a few were touched by the emotional tears that she shed as the boyfriend broke her heart in that manner. However, as the criticism that trailed the video was raging, it emerged that the young girl was actually proposing marriage to a married man. The unsuspecting lady had fallen in love and dating a married man, without any inkling. And the man must have felt embarrassed that the girl blew his cover with a public marriage proposal. Whether the incident actually caused marital squabble for the man, is not known.
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It’s not only men that play this double-dating game. Young ladies are equally as dexterous and adventurous in this dating game. For instance, a young lady, whose identity is given simply as Victoria, ended up dating two brothers and when the lid was blown, her chances of marrying either of the two men crashed. Gist had it that Vicky’s life was heading downhill including chances of higher education when out of nowhere, Dominic, who works with one of the federal paramilitary outfits showed up and took exceptional interest in transforming her life and wasted no time in bankrolling her university education.
But, as soon as Vicky gained admission and began to live campus life, away from the prying eyes of her lover boy and benefactor, she joined the ladies multiple-dating league. She would later become an expert in the game as she cheated on Dom and other side-lovers. The double-dating game, however, took a dangerous turn when Vicky travelled to Enugu for the Nigerian Army recruitment screening sponsored by Mr. Dominic and fell in love with an unmarried Colonel, Samuel. Although Vicky was unsuccessful in her Army recruitment exercise and later returned to her schooling, she would secretly travel to Enugu to spend time with her soldier-lover. When Colonel Sam eventually proposed to marry her things began to unravel in an unexpected manner.
Unknown to Vicky, Sam was the younger brother of Mr. Dom, her lover and benefactor. But it was not until the day of the traditional marriage that the secret love scandal was unraveled. Sam had invited his senior brother to witness his traditional marriage to his heartthrob only for him to discover that the bride was actually his girlfriend of over two years that he had invested his hard-earned resources and emotions on and waiting for the right moment to propose marriage to her. Of course, as soon as the two brothers realised what transpired, that they had co-dated a lady, they took the inevitable decision – send her packing.
Orient Feminine Corner also learnt of an incident involving a ‘runz’ girl that dated four guys while in secondary school. Two of the four guys she was dating were from her village while the other pair was from two neighboring villages. For more than three years, she successfully ran the show, alternating dating appointments amongst the quartet without hitches, using lies and excuses as her alibi. It was not until December 2012 when the two guys from same village returned home to celebrate in their village. Unknown to her, the two guys were childhood friends. It was not until they met at a joint for banter that the truth began to unravel. They were still together when the girl, called one of them to inform him that she’s on her way to his house and the guy requested that she come straight to the joint so they can go home together. When she finally entered the place and met the two boyfriends, she froze with shock and fled out of shame. The two guys were equally astonished by her dramatic show, but soon after the lady had stormed out of them, the closely guarded secret that they were co-dating her was eventually revealed. Incidentally, both were preparing to commence introductory process for marriage that December. And that brief but dramatic encounter ended the relationships.
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Another lady who was posted to Ondo state for her National Youth Service (NYSC), decided to join a bad gang of female corps members who mastered the act of dating multiple men in their bid to make as much money as possible before eventually settling down. But, things took a dramatic twist when her fiancé took the unexpected initiative to pay her an unexpected visit in Ondo. On arrival in the state, the fiancé had decided to stay at his cousin’s residence. He was still trying to arrange how to visit his fiancé the next morning when a lady his cousin said was his girlfriend showed up to spend the night. It was when she was ushered into the sitting room by the boyfriend for formal greeting and introduction that the pair had the shock of their lives, as the girl fled, leaving the two cousins behind. That dramatic meeting brought the marriage to a screeching end.
Orient Feminine Corner also learnt that a female corps member lost her life during her service year in the process of multiple dating stunts. According to the gist, the lady went for weekend to one of her lovers who insisted that she should spend time with him in order to give her the amount of money she was asking for. That trip was the last time she was seen alive, as her dismembered remains were later discovered by the roadside two weeks after she had gone to meet that lover.
Another lady shared the story of how she had an unwanted child out of wedlock because of double dating. According to her, she was dating a guy named Ifeanyi, who was not faithful and ready to settle down with her. After four years of dating him without sign of proposing for marriage, she decided to explore other men.
According to her: “One day, I decided to start dating other guys who were asking me out since I suspected he was having affairs with other girls. After four years, he still didn’t want to declare intention meet my people. I was having suitors here and there but was still hoping that one day he would make the move. One of my suitors from Abakailiki in Ebonyi state had invited me for his sister’s wedding and we had romantic dates for some days.”
While spending time with the new lover, Ifeanyi called and begged her to come to his house for a marriage proposal chat. “I obeyed him and went straight to his house because I love him a lot. After spending good time with Ifeanyi, I later became pregnant but wasn’t sure who was responsible for my baby and when he eventually discovered that I also had a fling with another guy, he left me to marry another wife.”
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Epilogue:
Many youths consider being in a relationship with multiple partners at the same time as an act of smartness, self-preservation or insurance against heartbreak, not knowing that such dangerous stunts often have tragic consequences on the long run. Incidentally, many young ladies still believe that having one partner cannot sufficiently satisfy their needs and hearts’ desires. They believe it’s only when you have many of them competing for your attention that you can “balance the equation”. But the truth remains that it brings confusion into the selection process of life partner and often leads to procrastination.
Even those who engage in prostitution find excuses for selling their bodies. While the dangers of such lifestyle remain glaring, many have refused to consider the pros and cons of it. Remember that some ladies who engaged in this kind of risky lifestyle had experienced tragic end or, when lucky, milder repercussions such as infection or temporary psychological imbalance.
Whatever type of dating lifestyle you choose to adopt, always be mindful that love is special and that people should not be playing around with it and by extension, playing with the hearts of people. It is wicked and only shows the depth to which people can go because of the appeal for money, sex and marriage.
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