Rising violent attacks on men over side chicks

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By Chinelo Nwangene  

The rising cases of violent attacks on men suspected to be cheating on their wives, took a bizarre twist recently when a video clip captured the dramatic moment a woman trailed her husband to a joint, where he was having a drink with another woman, and without bothering to find out whether she was a side chic or a client, launched an attack that ended on a bloody note. 

The incident, just as many others that took place in recent weeks across Nigeria, had continued to generate ripples and moral debates on the social media and beer parlours. 

Orient Feminine Corner captured views from the streets and social media on how best to handle such situation.

Samuel Johnson Omokhagbo, who is disturbed by the increasing trend, queries the rationale for a woman to take violent action against her husband in public over mere suspicion that he was with his girlfriend, without inquiring to know who the lady was. 

“What if the lady in question was a client and the meeting was purely official? Does marriage now mean no more meetings with the opposite sex? This bloody jealousy by ladies must stop. What on hell made her believes the man was cheating on her? If I were on this man’s shoe, the marriage would be over.

In his own reaction, Valentine Obienyem said that such violent action was condemnable as it was morally and traditionally wrong for a woman to confront a man in public over mere suspicion of extramarital affairs. 

He said: “This is madness taken too far. Who unleash the devil in our women these days? Gone are the days when women were prayer warriors. Now, they are ultimate and fight warriors because of jealousy. It must be condemned”, he stressed.

As far as Kenneth Ekene is concerned, “This man has suffered hell; if the woman can act this way in the public, who knows what happens at home. Sometimes, what public sees are men maltreating women, but won’t see women who maltreat men. Go to any church ministry, 90 percent there are single ladies praying for husbands. When God gives them husband, they will turn lions of the family. Above all, couples should say no to infidelity.  

Austa Nkechi considers confrontation of spouse over side-chick as wrong move. 

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“There is no perfect marriage now, and even if she is right and decided to walk away tomorrow, believe me, no man would want to marry a ‘man beater’ and that is the worst thing a woman can do to her husband. We should understand the fact that loneliness is bitter than anything you can think of.”

Rita Emordi also blamed the woman for going as far as fighting her husband in public. 

“As far as I’m concerned, the woman crossed the line.  She supposed to investigate properly before taking action. I cannot fight in the public because of a side chick. Even if I saw him with a side chick, I would wait for my husband to come back home before taking any action”.

Nzubechi Ajuonuma also reacted: “In-as-much-as I am not in support of infidelity, her action was wrong. If that man dies in the process, nobody would ask her what happened; they would just arrest her; free air and freedom of liberty she enjoys will be taken away from her. Please, those that are married, if you can’t take it anymore, just take a walk. Don’t get me wrong; but then, beating him to death won’t change him!

Chinwe Ilonze also expressed concern over the high rate of family crisis arising from suspicion. She opined that violent confrontation was not the solution to infidelity. 

“Certainly, a lot is happening these days as regards men and their side chics. But, if you asked me, I would say she shouldn’t fight him outside and she should verify very well to avoid bigger trouble”.

Ebuka Romeo Okoye, however, advised Nigerian ladies to focus on satisfying their men rather than fighting side-chicks. 

“Dear wives, take care of your men and stop fighting side-chicks up and down. How many side-chicks do you want to beat? Do not wait for another lady that understands the duty to give your man what you are denying him at home. It doesn’t end at giving birth to children for him.”

Oliver Cooper opined: “I’m not in support of the infidelity of the man, even though there might be reasons of not being faithful, but God forbid, because, if I happened to be the man, honestly, the marriage would end.

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Okeke Peters expressed dissatisfaction with the way men die nowadays because of nagging women they have in their lives. He urged men to sit up and stop the womenfolk on time before it would be too late. 

“I think Nigerian woman needs divorce, starting from the poorest man. Their reason for the nonsense is that men don’t divorce them, otherwise, this kind of attack will continue.”

Ndidi-Amaka Nwokolo argued that despite the pain and frustration a woman would face after seeing her husband with another woman in public, violent attack is never the solution. 

Liberty Ekarika, in her own reaction, supported the woman, insisting that the woman must have enough reason for taking such action. 

“For those blaming the woman, do you know what she has endured over the years? She’s only expressing her emotions, which everyone has. If you were the type that could bottle it up and have HBP then, go ahead. And for those men that keep side chicks, when you know the kind of wife you marry, be careful and don’t push her to the wall in order for her anger not to be shown in the public.

Ifeoma Nwoko insisted that men need to respect their marriages. “The woman in that video was obviously in a serious pain, based on the treatment the husband must have been giving her as a result of extramarital affairs. Are we even sure if he was taking care of the woman and children at home? This might even be the reason she over reacted. I also think this might not be the first and second time, so, allow her to pour out her pains.”

Chioma Lekwuwa shares similar perspective: “One thing with all these men is that they don’t even take care of their wives and children, but they will rather be spending on their so-called side chick out there. Men, please, learn how to take care of your family because, when you do what you are supposed to do at home as a man, you will see that your wife will not even have time to monitor you. I share in the pain of the woman, but she should have allowed the man to come home first and settle the situation amicable.

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